DONUT HOLE: i'd find i forgot even the warmth you shared with me  

—------------------

Soren considers his memory better than average, for better or worse.

To the mercenaries, it's better, knowing the soldier’s fighting styles, remembering and understanding history and politics behind it all. It’s become one of his strongest assets, why he’s able to stand behind the Commander of one of the strongest armies in Tellius.

In his personal life, it isn't quite as appreciated.

He remembers, and he does not forget. He does not forget the passerby who wouldn't spare a glance at him. He does not forget tugging on a shopkeeper’s dress, looking up to ask for food, directions, anything, and getting back a look that killed him inside. He does not forget the whispers heard around the Daein mercenary camp of what he could be.

The only blessing is that he does not forget Ike and that day under the tree.

Soren had stopped believing in a benevolent Goddess long ago, but if there is one, him remembering Ike had to be her work.

After all, Ike doesn't remember a thing.

Ike does not remember finding him, alone and starving and mute. Ike does not remember handing over his food, giving him life. Ike does not remember the bodies of civilians spread in the village, tossed around and carelessly decaying in the open. At the very least, he does not bring it up.

In some ways, he’s grateful. Ike isn’t plagued by nightmares, or feels pity for Soren, seeing him as some weak, stumbling boy. But that didn’t mean he didn’t find the lapse in memory odd.

“You know,” Ike brings up one day, when they’re both young, at the cusp of 18. “I don’t really remember my time in Gallia. And Father never brought it up either, I wonder why's that?”

Outside on the training grounds Ike frequented, it wasn’t uncommon for the two of them to be in each other’s company out here, Soren quietly reading with only the sounds of Ike’s practice sword against a training dummy. Soren raised his gaze for a moment to see Ike’s thoughtful expression, that same slight quirk of the mouth down he would later see during strategy meetings. He quickly looked back down to his book, still listening.

“Perhaps he thought you’d never return,” he mused. It was true in a way, Griel probably had no strong desire to return to that village ever again.

“Maybe so, but…” Ike swung his sword, “Hm.”

It was clear Ike had been thinking about it for a while. Most didn't give him the credit he deserved, while Soren was the main tactics of the group, as the new commander Ike had pushed himself to listen in and think ahead as well. His father was still fresh in his mind, an open wound clear to anyone looking at their tattered army. It was obvious from the way his eyes glistened just a bit less, the quiet shaking anger he held when he spoke of his murder, like he wasn't ever considering anything else.

It concerned Soren as both a tactician, and dare he say, friend. But he’d be lying if he said it was his place to speak on Griel’s death.

The two of them were lost in their own thoughts for most of the rest of the training. It was nice though, to have someone simply next to. No need for speaking or words. The simple comfort of being with another without question is certainly something they both enjoyed.

Sweat dripped down Ike’s brow as he firmly placed his sword back at its rest on his hip. He let out a small pant of exhaustion, slumping down on the grass next to Soren with a sigh. Soren’s eyes flicked once to Ike’s closed eyed expression then back to reading.

A few more minutes passed in silence before Ike’s previously content expression scrunched up and he forced himself up.

Instead, they talked of other things. They spoke in hushed voices into the night, first on reports and army scheduling, then to anything else on their minds, meals of the day, books read, memories shared. Each and every time, they learned more about each other, a simple gesture, or a miniscule part of the other’s day. Tonight, it was Soren retelling a particularly interesting book on the wartime in an ancient land.

“... and so, even despite their crop’s disadvantages, the people of Rigel were able to survive post-war due to the unification of both nations.”

“Mmm..” Ike hummed, tapping his fingers absentmindedly at the desk they both sat at. “Do you ever think we will go to nations like that?”

“What, war torn, now Godless, nations of near ruin? It’s not exactly a high priority, no,” Soren monotoned. It was an odd sort of biting sarcastic humor, but it bounced off Ike well enough. It was clear he was joking, with that small eyebrow raised.

“No no, more like just… away. Away from here.” Ike clarified, waving his hand. He had this far off look reminiscent of when he was younger and had to sit around meetings with his father. “Tellius is nice, but there must be other places out there. See other sights.”

 “It would be difficult to secure a stable income if we were once again nobody mercenaries, and traveling ones on top of that.”

“Ah. I never considered that…” suddenly there was a brief look of hesitation, as if he would speak the next words. “...still, even if it's just imagined, I’m sure if it ever did come to that, you’d find a way.”

“Dumping all the work on me, hm..”

“Not like that. More like, you work so hard that I’m sure you’ll find a solution. You managed to keep track of an army that’s nearly five times what we started as. I trust you.”

For a biting moment he wanted to shoot back with the fact that Titania did a fair amount of heavy lifting as well, more charismatic than he’d ever be (not that he found it a particularly good skill to have on someone like him.) Her double checking his reports had saved him from a few blunders that would’ve cost him. But it was all hypothetical anyway, and he quite enjoyed a bit of praise, so he could only nod and turn a shade lighter of pink.

Trust, trust, trust, he couldn't get the word out of his head.

He still thought of it, every once in a while. Little bits and pieces here and there, no much more than a fleeting daydream, but it was there, which is quite significant considering how many other thoughts he had to keep track of.

(Despite all of the tactics and politics and numbers and- everything else he had to account for, he always found time to think of Ike.)

This fic has been converted for free using AOYeet!